Help Me
by Faith Callaway
Summary: A terrible crime was committed on Zoey that caused her to change dramatically inside and out.  It couldn't happen at the worse time because she and the other tamers are needed back in the Digital World. Is she able to return to her old wild self?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: NO RIGHTS TO DIGIMON

As promised to a couple of my supporters/friends, here is a story for Digimon Season four. I must say I had to do a lot of research for this story because I hadn't watched it in awhile nor did I remember a lot about it but it was all worth it.

The start of this story might be a little too intense but I hope it would be a good start to a good hurt/comfort story so please bear with me!

XXX

Zoey POV

XXX

It was the fifth time that I showered when I realized that no matter how many times I tried to get rid of the filth on me, it would be impossible to.

My body felt dry and like a sun baked prune when I left my steamy bathroom. I held my bathrobe tighter around me as I sat down on my bedroom bed.

Unwanted thoughts slowly started to reel in my mind but I tried my hardest to push them away.

It didn't work because I started to feel my body trembling violently with fear.

Suddenly I felt the tightness of a hand around my mouth and then around my neck like someone was trying to silence my screams. My body was being dragged into a dark alleyway against my will.

Then I felt as though I was being thrown against a brick wall.

But…This is my bedroom… No one's here…

It's all in my head..

I grabbed at my head and shut my eyes close to think of something else.

**Desperately at anything else…**

But then out of nowhere, a hand tightened around my mouth while the other hand glided his fingers down my chest and continued down my body until he reached the ends of my skirt.

He roughly yanked down my skirt and underwear. His hand released my mouth for a moment and roughly tore my shirt.

My hands pushed, shoved, and hit at my hardest but it was no use. The brute man just wouldn't budge! His calloused hand moved my mouth to my throat. He started to squeeze the breath out of me until I start to feel dizzy and weak.

Before I knew it I was screaming at the top of my lungs just like I was when it happened. I yelled louder and louder as I felt him inside of me; pushing hard.

It was excruciating pain.

My own loud scream brought me back into reality, back into my bedroom.

I was just thinking back to the attack but it was able to bring back the emotions and the horrifying sensation of it too.

Or was it real..?

Was I being attacked again..?

How can it feel so real if I was just thinking back to it.

My eyes shot around frantically until I grasped the reality that I really was in my bedroom instead of an alley.

I hugged my legs to my chest as I lay down onto my side; dazed beyond belief and feeling ashamed and naked.

It was my fault that it happened to me… I should have never gone to that party and I definitely should have called a cab or take the subway instead of walking home.

But… My apartment was so close and it was a dinner party… I didn't think anything like that could have happened…

I should have done more to stop him..

Who was he…?

I never got a good glimpse of his face because he was wearing a mask so even if I wanted to call the police I wouldn't be able to give him a good prescription…

If it was Kazemon or Zephrmon, I could have killed him.

But no.. I'm just human in this world…

It had been five years since I've last been the digital world. I was twelve then and now seventeen turning eighteen soon.

I guess I've changed a lot since then.

When I came back from the digital world, I made lots of news friends because of that change. I managed to stay friends with the guys and kept in touch with them but as time grew on, that slowly faded; especially this year.

I was so busy this year preparing myself for exams and University that I never get the chance to hang out with the guys or even give a simple call. They all had their own things to do too.

Even thinking of them now started to make me feel dirty… For some reason I started to feel afraid of them even though I fought beside them and they had always tried to defend me back then.

I've change more after tonight and it was all against my will…

XXX

It was dawn but I didn't sleep the entire night.

I kept on shuttering and wishing that I was back in the digital world with my human and beast spirit.

I could do anything including the power to kill.

Still feeling tired; I lethargically lifted myself out of bed.

My feet touched the ground as I pulled myself up from the bed. I was so sore down there and it was hard for me to stand up nonetheless walk.

It was hard but I managed to walk to the bathroom adjacent to my bedroom. I looked into the bathroom mirror hanging over the sink.

My reflection was terrible. It was clear that I didn't get any sleep and that I had been crying for hours on end; my eyes were hideously puffy and red.

They stung and were blurry too.

There was a bruised handprint around my neck…

If I still had tears in me I would be crying them out because of what I saw in the mirror but I was running on empty. I dropped slowly to the floor; feeling so tired and so ashamed.

I have school today…and the day after that and the day after that…

What am I suppose to do…?

I don't want to leave my home…

I can't stand to have anyone looking at me…

So I stayed inside..

I stayed inside day after day..

Those days slowly turned into months.

The only time I did go out was when I had to take important tests for school. A close friend would usually deliver my class work and homework to my apartment mailbox.

After I had first missed a couple of days I knew that I couldn't afford to miss out on the class work. I had to find some way to make things work.

So…

I managed to forge a doctor's medical report saying that I had critical lupus. It's a chronic illness that allows the immune system to attack itself. It's a serious illness so the school never really questioned that.

My parents don't live with me so it made it easy for me to constantly stay home. A couple years ago, my parents wanted to move back to Italy but I chose to stay here.

When I need to go grocery shopping or buy new clothes, I would normally order clothes or some needed things online. For food, I would give a list of groceries to my neighbor next door so she could help with that.

She's a single middle age mother of a four year little girl. I babysit for her when she goes out on errands like that.

A win-win situation.

Despite that it's been months since that night happened, I'm still constantly scared.

For the first month, I was even scared to go downstairs to get my mail from the mailbox. I was terrified when I had to step out of my apartment.

I would scream like there was no tomorrow in the middle of the night when the nightmares came.

My friends stopped calling and I couldn't find the heart to care about that.

I got tired of them asking me _why_ I wasn't at school, _when_ I would be going back to school, _why_ did I sound so funny over the phone.

I never told anyone about what happened and I'll take it to my grave before I let anyone find out about that shameful embarrassing moment.

XXX

It was late and I was already snuggled warmly in my bed. I wasn't asleep yet but I was falling into it when my doorbell rang continuously.

I sat up thinking it was odd for someone to be ringing my doorbell at that time of night because it was too cold for anyone to travel anywhere.

It was winter and the snow fell almost every day.

Almost immediately I thought the worse…

What if its…

I didn't want to answer it until I heard familiar voices.

"Zoey open the door! It's us! Are you home! IT'S AN EMERGENCY! A DIGITAL EMERGENCY!"

It sounded liked Takuya..Koji..and..

It was the guys..?

Was I hearing things?

I threw back my covers and got out of bed to answer the door but when I got in front of it I was a little skeptical.

Shakily…I slowly unhinged the multiple latches and opened my door enough for me to see.

It **was** them…

They had trouble seeing me because of small opening from the door. The lights of the hallway were all on and brightly too.

They were standing at the door trying to get a glimpse of me from the cracked opening of my door.

Takuya leaned in a little closer and Koji did the same in attempt to see me more clearly. I gave them the benefit of the doubt and opened the door just a tiny bit more.

"Zoe…? Is that you?" Takuya called to me.

It had been so long since I had last seen them that I almost didn't recognize him if it wasn't for their trademarks.

They all had gotten so tall, even little Tommy and he was in his early teens. Their faces had sharpened into mature handsome features.

Takuya still wore those goggles over hair but the hat he wore back then was gone. His hair was styled stylishly to fit the fashion of his goggles.

Koji didn't wear a bandana anymore and he didn't leave his long hair in a ponytail. His hair was shorter; up to his shoulders. He braided his hair halfway and tied it up from there. The bottoms ends of his hair were spiked with style too. He looked like someone that belonged in a boy band.

His twin brother cut all of his hair off but he was pretty handsome with his short hair too.

Tommy got rid of big orange hat too. His hair looked like Takuya's but without the goggles and slightly shoulder. He could be Takuya's brother.

J.P. was still big but not as in fat. It looked like he packed on some muscle. A regular hunk by all girls' standards

I felt an emotional pang at my heart. It twinge with guilt that I didn't keep in touch with them as I should have.

Perhaps another reason for the water welling in my eyes was when I saw them; I felt a hint of safeness. It wasn't an immense feeling but it was enough for me to realize that I was wrong to think that I couldn't trust anyone including them.

"Zoe it's us!" Takuya said with laughter but he saw my teary eyes when I opened the door more to show the rest of my face. "Zoe..? Zoe what's wrong? Aren't you happy to see us?"

Tommy looked at me weirdly, "Zoe, did you forget about us or something? Why are you crying?"

I held onto the door with a clutch, trying to contain myself.

Takuya stepped closer, "Zoe…? What happened to you..?" He finally saw the thinness in my face and the dark rings under my eyes. He held out his hand and reached for the side of my face but I flinched away and evaded away from his eyes while gripping more onto the door.

I was ghostly pale and sometimes with a hint of sickly green in my face especially when I don't sleep at all so I knew what he was talking about. That and of course the tears on my face.

"Zoe." Takuya lightly said my name. "It's me, Takuya. Don't you recognize me?"

My eyes diffidently look back to him. "T-Takuya…" I whispered involuntarily sobbingly..

He smiled kindly liked back then, "Hey.. You do remember me. I knew you wouldn't forget about me."

XXX


	2. Chapter 2

NO RIGHT TO DIGIMON

XXX

The water inside the kettle was boiling as it whistled noisily through the air. I turned off the stove before the noise could attract the guys into the kitchen.

They were waiting in my living room for me. It felt uncomfortably weird to be in the same room for even a couple of minutes so I suggested that I make hot chocolate to give myself some time alone.

My hands oddly trembled as I poured the hot water into a teapot already filled with hot cocoa powder. I stirred it thoroughly before I placed it on a tray with numerous mugs.

I took a deep breath and relaxed myself so my nervous quivering would stop. It had been months since I've been around people and it felt like it had been ages since I've been around the guys.

When I entered the living room, they stopped talking about whatever they were discussing about and focus all their attention on me.

Suddenly, I felt even more uncomfortable than before and a little bare. Awkwardly, I set the tray down onto the coffee table in front of them while kneeling onto the floor.

I sensed Takuya's eyes looking at me the most and in the deepest manner as if he was searching for something from within me.

"Nice place you got here Zoe, where are your parents?" The curious youngest member asked while I distributed the cups to each one.

"Thanks Tommy, it's a little small.. My parents moved back to Italy so I live alone." I poured the hot chocolate into everyone's cup and then into my own cup.

They all sipped on their cups tastily but I just held onto mine to warm my hands. The heater in my apartment was broken so it was chilly.

I kept my eyes on my reflection in the hot chocolate, waiting for someone to talk.

My eyes intriguingly lifted shyly from the cup to see Takuya still gazing seriously at me. My face became warm at the second our eyes locked. I pulled away immediately and looked at the table in front of us.

"I think we should start explaining to Zoe about what we found out." J.P. said after drinking the whole mug of hot cocoa down.

Koichi nodded reasonably and put down his cup on the coffee table, "I believe Takuya would be the one that could explain things best."

It was like Takuya didn't hear Koichi. Koji, who was sitting next to Takuya on the sofa nudged him in the side, "Hey, you here or what?"

My face got hotter because I knew he was focused on me.

"Oh right-" Takuya snapped out of it and he put his mug down on the coffee table too. He took out a cell phone from his pants pocket and showed it to me, "Remember this?"

It was a cell phone obviously but I knew I had seen it somewhere before. It was an old version type from years back. I don't even think anyone make this version anymore.

Takuya gave it to me to look at. I glanced at it for in both hands and finally recognized it, "It's your old cell phone."

He nodded, "This was the cell phone that was turned into my d-tector when we went to the digital world four years ago."

I nodded to show that I remembered.

"I never used it after we came back but I kept it around for sentimental reasons. Most of the time it stays tucked away somewhere; turned off. Except for last night…"

He paused difficultly before continuing, "A strange voice came from it in the middle of the night yesterday. It was hard to hear but I think it was Bokomon. I tried my best to talk to him and listen to what he had to say but before I couldn't get anywhere, he was gone."

"Bokomon..?" I asked unbelievingly.

Takuya nodded and leaned forward with his enclosed hands covering his mouth; deeply thinking back to the voice. "I think he was trying to get us to help him but there was so much static. I couldn't hear him well."

"When Takuya called us about it we dug out our old cell phones too." J.P. informed.

They all took out their original cell phones to show me. Tommy looked at his disappointingly, "Ours didn't activate or anything like Takuya's did though."

"But we know something's wrong. We can feel it." Koji added.

His twin brother questioned me. "What about you, Zoe? Did your old phone react or anything? Do you feel like something's wrong?"

To be honest, I haven't felt anything in months and I don't even use my new phone nonetheless my old one so I just shook my head. "But, I haven't checked my old phone in a long time. I think I still have it, I'm not sure. I haven't seen it in awhile."

"I think you should take a look at it Zoe." Tommy suggested.

That's not a bad idea.

I nodded, "Give me a second to look for it, I'll be right back. Help yourselves with the hot chocolate." I gave back the cell phone in my hands to Takuya first before standing up.

"Do you need any help?" He asked thoughtfully.

I tried to smile, "No thanks. I can handle it."

I went back into my bedroom to look for my old cell phone. I looked thoroughly through my drawers but it wasn't there. It couldn't be in my closet because only clothes hung in there.

There wouldn't be any place else that I would have kept it unless I threw it away or lost it a long time ago.

I walked down the hall hoping it wouldn't matter much if I had that cell phone or not. The moment I got near the entrance of it, I heard them talking. I stopped and listened in first.

"Hey, you think she doesn't like us anymore J.P.?" Tommy asked.

J.P. hummed shortly, "Hmm.. I wouldn't say that. Maybe Zoe's tired or maybe it wasn't the right time for us to come over."

They were talking about me.. I leaned back against the wall so they were sure not to see me and I could listen in more.

"I guess you're right J.P., she did look tired." Koichi said.

Koji sighed, "Well yeah, exams are coming up. We're all tired from studying."

"I don't know…" Takuya started deeply, "She just didn't seem like the Zoe that I knew. She's changed a lot."

That hit me sorely. I knew with all my heart that I was different from the Zoe that they knew but I didn't want to be. I wanted to be fun and happy again. I wanted to tell them that I missed them and that I was sorry but how could I…?

"We haven't seen her in awhile Takuya, people change." Koji reminded.

Takuya didn't seem to believe that, "Really now… Is that it? I feel like she's keeping something from us that she doesn't want us to find out.. The fire in her is completely gone."

"You have a point there." J.P. agreed and they probably all did too.

"Do you think she'd be all right to go back to the Digital World if needed? Maybe she should stay here if she's not up for it." Tommy suggested.

I held my hands together at my heart and thought about what they said.

They were right.

They couldn't on me if I was unreliable especially when I'm like this.

**I have to try to be normal. **

I left my spot and returned to my bedroom to look for that old cell phone again.

That would be the first step.

The only place I didn't look in was my closet. I didn't think it would be in there but it didn't hurt to check.

I looked inside first. It was mainly clothes. I was about to leave it until I spotted a medium sized box on a high shelf.

The box was white with baby sheep designs on it. Pink hearts floated around the box with an ongoing strip of music notes.

I reached my hands for it but I was too short. I attempted again to go on my tippy toes but I still couldn't reach it.

Determined, I stretched as far as I could because I didn't want to go outside to drag in a chair. My hands couldn't even get anywhere near it until I felt myself being lifted off the ground.

There was a pair of hands on my waist holding me up. I looked down and saw Takuya looking up at me.

My face felt hotter than before and I was sure that it was red like a tomato too. I started to tremble because of Takuya's touch.

No one had touched me in any sort of way in months, it threw me off balance and unwanted horrible memories started flowing back. It started to bring me back to that night which made me even shake more.

The feel of that stranger's rough hands around my throat and his brute strength restraining me started practically coming to life.

But… It's Takuya..

Be normal Zoe… Please be normal.

Don't scare him away.

He's a friend not the monster…

I reminded myself as our eyes appeared to be locked again. His eyes were the only thing pulling me back into reality; I didn't want to lose that just yet.

"Did you want to get that box Zoe?" Takuya asked while still staring at my dazed demeanor.

I snapped out of it and got the box into my hands, "Uhm, I got it Takuya. You can put me down now.."

He carefully set my feet to the floor. We were standing pretty close together. He was so tall now that my face only reached his chest; it made me feel even smaller.

Takuya must have realized from the way I evaded my eyes and how hard I hugged onto the box that I felt uncomfortable about our close proximity. He stepped back to give me space, "What in the box Zoey?"

I put the box onto the floor and knelt down to open it. Takuya lowered himself to look too. It was filled with strange things that I don't remember keeping.

There were things like baby clothes, a rattle, a coloring book, and other things like that. I blushed from embarrassment after realizing was it was, "Oh, it must be my baby box that my mom kept for me. I had forgotten about it."

Takuya picked up a baby photo, "You were a cute baby." He set that back down and looked through more of the box and found something rectangular shaped wrapped in a swatch of my baby blanket, "Zoe what's this?"

Whatever was inside, it started to glow. Takuya took off the blanket to see. "That's my old cell phone." It was my old cell phone all right but it was glowing with a bright shining light that it made it hard to see.

"Uh, what's going on Takuya?"

It started floating away from Takuya's hand and into the air right in front of us. Only static could be heard from the cell phone but a voice was trying to get through it.

"K-Kids a-are you there?" I managed to make that part out but it was difficult.

I know who that is, it's Bokomon!

Our old digimon friend and mentor.

"Bokomon, we're here. It's me Zoe!" I spoke loudly to it.

Takuya attempted to too, "Bokomon, we're here. What's happening in the Digital World?"

"H-HELP-US! K-KIDS."

"Help you with what? What's going on?" Takuya shouted into the phone. The static was getting louder and louder.

"H-HELP-" The static completely took over Bokomon's voice as it started to shake.

Koji and the others appeared at the door abruptly because of our commotion, "Takuya what's going on!"

A beeping noise was heard from the gadget. Sparks began to burst from the phone as it went on vibrating dangerously. Smoke started leak into the air from it.

Takuya knew what was going to happen, "It's going to go off. Get down!" He pushed me back onto the floor and used his body to shield mine.

A gigantic boom shook the whole room immediately right afterwards and stayed ringing in our ears. Objects from my baby box flew at and over Takuya and me from the detonation. The smoke filled my bedroom even more toxically.

"Whoa! Now that's what I call fireworks.." Tommy coughed after from the smoke.

Takuya looked back to the box and I lifted my face from his shoulder to see too. All sides of the box laid flat on the floor. It was originally white but it was tainted black soot from the detonation.

My old cell phone was still there but the case of it was charred black. I was surprise that it wasn't completely gone.

Takuya sighed shortly; relieved, "That was close…" He glance back down to me, "You alright?"

Now that everything was in a safe state, I saw and felt how close Takuya and I were. I flushed red instantly and my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

Right when I was about to answer, the emergency sprinkler sprung on and started spraying the entire bedroom.

Luckily, Koji and the others were at the foot of the door so they didn't get drenched like Takuya and I did.

It was ridiculous because there wasn't even a fire, just clouds of smoke.

Unfortunately the smoke was worse enough because it got into my airway; choking me. I started coughing and coughing on the smoke while the water sprayed over us.

Takuya was more drenched than I was since his body was covering mine. He hastily got up from the floor and pulled me up along the way. He tried to shield me with his leather jacket as he hurried out of the room.

Strangely, the living room and any other rooms weren't spraying rain like my bedroom was. What was even more bizarre was that the fire alarm didn't go off either.

In a way, I called it a lucky break. I would hate for the other tenants to have to evacuate the building in a panic state and I would hate it more if I had to clean up more than one room.

"Takuya, what the hell happened?" J.P. asked after looking at my bedroom again. The sprinklers stopped but my bedroom was semi under water. Everything was soaked beyond belief.

"Bokomon… He tried to contact us through Zoe's cell phone but before we could get anything clear, it exploded as you witnessed yourself." Takuya explained as he took off his leather jacket and sat himself on the arm of the sofa. He was soaked to the bone.

Droplets of water were rolling off his hair and down his face. He was definitely going to catch a cold if he didn't get dry quickly.

I excused myself from the conversation to get towels for Takuya and me. I was pretty drenched myself. I came back with two towels hanging over my bent arm.

Timidly, I draped one of the towels over Takuya's shoulders.

"Thanks Zoe." He said and noticed the other towel on my bent arm. He took it and stood so he could wrap it around me.

I held it close and retreated a step back as I started to feel uneasy again.

He saw my anxiety but he didn't question it or push on the matter. Instead he looked back to the others seriously, "We have to find a way back into the Digital World. Something is definitely wrong there. It was static and hard to hear but we did hear, _**Help us**_."

"He tried to get through to Takuya's cell phone." I stopped for a second to think logically. "I think he tried to contact all of us but he could only get through to my cell phone…"

Tommy intriguingly questioned further, "Why do you think that Zoe?"

I looked to him seriously, "Because if there really is something bad going on in the Digital World, he wouldn't just stop with one digidestine. He knew that it would be difficult to contact us so if I were him I would try to contact as many as possible. The probability would be higher."

Koichi nodded in absolute agreement, "Zoe is right. Something urgent has to be going on in the other world. Why else would they try to contact us after all these years."

"And what if it's some sort of trap?" His twin brother, Koji crossed his arm skeptically "If something bad is going on in that place, what makes you think that it's not a trap to lure us back there. Anyone in that world could have the possibility of having a power to imitate someone's voice. For all we know, that voice you heard might not even be Bokomon."

"We don't know that for sure but maybe we should go with our instincts." J.P. suggested and glance towards Takuya and I. "What do you guys think? You two were the only ones that heard the message. Do you think it's Bokomon?"

Takuya sighed, "I'll be honest with you guys. I'm not sure it was Bokomon. It sounded like him but it was really hard to hear and Koji could possibly be right. I just have a strange feeling in my gut telling me that the voice was the real deal."

"I agree…" I diffidently spoke my opinion again. Both my enclosed hands touched my heart disturbingly as I winced, "I feel it too. Something's not right."

"That does it then." Takuya stated adamantly as he stood up again from his place. "We're going back."

J.P. found an argument, "But how are we going to get there. The last time it was through the Trailmon and may I remind you that when we left the Digital World our human spirit and Beast Spirit completely separated from us."

"I don't know J.P. but we have to try to find some way." Koji reasoned with him.

Takuya nodded, "Koji's right. Tonight, pack your things when you get home guys. Pack things that you need like you're going to be away for a long time. We're going to meet at the subway tomorrow. That is where we'll start."

What…?

It hit me there and then that we were going to find some way back into the world that I had been craving to dive into but…

When they were talking about me early… They were right…

I wasn't back to myself or even remotely close to it. When Takuya was near me, I nearly wanted to crawl out of my own skin because of the anxiety.

The thought of having to step out of the apartment and have to walk through large crowds of people to get to the subway was already mind destroying.

If they need my help with any danger in that world…

Would I freeze?

Would I run away?

Would I just stand there and let it happen…?

Like I did that night…?

My mind was booming with fearful loud thoughts and it was taking on its own life form within my senses throughout my body.

"Zoe…?" I heard Takuya's voice bringing me back but his voice sounded like it was under water.

Finally, I slowly lifted my eyes to him, "Takuya…?"

His eyebrows furrowed confusingly until he understood by just looking at my defeated demeanor. "No…" He refused to believe it. "No Zoe, we can't do this without you. You have to go; you're a part of the team."

The others didn't quite catch on yet.

Tommy had to question, "What? What? Takuya, what are you talking about?"

Koichi caught on not a moment too soon and so did his twin brother. I saw from the corner of my eye that they shot fleeting glances towards me.

"Zoe, you don't want to go back to the Digital World? Not even to help our friends?" Koichi practically interrogated but it wasn't harsh sounding.

J.P.'s eyes went wide, "Zoe, what is this? You don't want to go back? Is it because you're scared?"

They all said something but Takuya's eyes and mine kept heavily locked on each other. He read into my eyes and I knew for a fact that he saw my desperation of feeling safe.

I was able to read into his eyes and see the genuine truth; he really believed that they needed me in their team.

It touched my heart because _I_ couldn't even trust myself; _believe_ in myself to get better. My eyes started to feel teary and everything **really** began to look like it was under water.

But he was wrong..

They don't need me.

They'll do just fine without me.

"Zoe, I don't know what's going on with you but snap out of it. Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as saving another world." Takuya said with determined eyes.

That hurt…deeply but I just lowered my eyes and let my bangs cover them. He believed in me but I was deliberately letting my fear and weakness take over.

"**You have to go Zoe**." He repeated once more but that just hit me twice as bad.

I shook my head slowly.

"What is wrong with you? This is the Digital World we're talk about. Our friends are there. Have you forgotten about Kazemon and Zephrmon? They were a part of you." Takuya pressured further. "If that world ends then so do them.

Koji held Takuya back by his shoulder, "Takuya, take it easy."

Koichi sighed disappointingly, "She's not going to budge. That's obvious. What would be best is to go home and start packing. Let's give Zoe her time to rest. It's late."

I could feel Takuya's eyes burrowing in me, sending the strongest feeling but I didn't budge. I merely waited for him to leave. He left me with that silent glare.

The twins, Tommy, and J.P. left but they departed rather sadly not angrily. It hurt me to see them leave like that.

My legs felt weak. I couldn't hold myself up anymore but I had to until I heard Tommy's goodbye and then the door closing.

Right there and then, I dropped to the floor and let the emotional hurricane unleashed. The pain in my heart didn't go away but my heart started to feel numb like it had been injected with anesthesia.

I dared not to cry out loud. I didn't want anyone to hear.

I didn't want myself to hear.

My silent crying made it hard for me to breath and soon, not only my heart was numb but my body was as well from the lack of oxygen.

No one knows what it's like to live but to also to feel dead.


	3. Chapter 3

No rights to Digimon

XXX

My room was soaked because of what happened last night so I slept on the sofa in the living room.

I wasn't able to get much sleep actually. I dozed off here and there but I probably only got a total of half an hour of sleep.

The sun wasn't up yet but I sat up on the sofa and looked around the dark room with my stinging eyes. I really didn't want to cry but I couldn't help it.

Every minute that passed by was filled of thoughts about the guys and The Digital World.

Takuya was right.

I should be going with them because I **am** part of the team.

He really believed in me and I couldn't even tell him a decent excuse of why I didn't want to go with them.

The way he figured out my fear was through my eyes. He stared into my soul and knew immediately that something was wrong.

I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my head on my knees.

Takuya…

Whenever I was around him last night, I felt safe.

I closed my eyes and imagined him in the apartment with me so I could feel protected once more.

It was only my imagination but the thought of him being with me was enough for me to relax. I didn't feel as tired as I was a moment ago.

I stayed like that for awhile.

The sun was up and I could tell from the light through my eyelids but I didn't move.

_Knock, Knock_

I thought it was probably my mind playing tricks on so I didn't open my eyes.

_Knock, Knock, Knock_

There it was again… I opened my eyes and lifted my head from my knees. I heard it again and wondered who it was.

I got up from the sofa and walked to the door. Like last night, I didn't want to open it because I was afraid.

My eyes stared at the door as I clenched my hands.

"Zoe… It's me."

The voice belonged to Takuya…

I slowly unlocked the door and opened it at a crack. It wasn't enough for him to see me.

"Zoe it's okay. Open up, it's me."

I was surprised because I didn't expect him to be so gentle after of what happened last night. I opened the door a little bit more.

"Hey…" He said softly. I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I looked away.

From the corner of my eye, I could tell that he was looking at my face. He was noticing how tired I physically looked.

"Can I come in?"

I nodded and left the door opened as I went back to stand in the living room.

Takuya closed the door behind him and followed me. I stood with my back to him.

He kept his distance. "Zoe, I came here to apologize. I was too harsh last night."

Apologize…? He didn't need to be sorry for anything since it wasn't his fault. I didn't know what to say to that.

"I pushed you too hard last night and I'm sorry."

I sighed silently to myself and turned around slowly. "Takuya…?"

The look in his eyes made me forget what I was saying. He didn't say anything but came closer and reached out his hand. His fingertips touched the side of my face lightly and I flinched out of reflex.

"You didn't sleep last night." He dropped his hand. "Why?"

"Takuya…" I said his name again and tried my best to start an explanation. "I wish I could go back with you. I want to be able to-"

"Then what's stopping you?" Takuya looked into my eyes.

I glanced away.

"Zoe, are you scared? If you are, then tell me what you're scared of."

My eyes stayed away.

He stepped closer and held my shoulders, "Is that it? You're scared?"

"I-I" 

I wasn't afraid of the danger or anything like that…. I was afraid of their disappointment if I would let them down.

When I told them that I wouldn't go back with them the night before, the look on their faces was excruciating. It made me feel like I was a failure.

"You weren't scared back then Zoe. You were fearless so why are you acting this way now? I don't understand it. Y-You're-" His sentence started to become an ongoing rant. "You're not Zoe anymore."

**I knew that but he didn't have to remind me… **

**He didn't have to remind me of my fears.**

**He didn't have to remind me of my weakness.**

**He didn't need to remind me that I wasn't Zoe anymore!**

I pushed him away from me and stepped back. The brim of my eyes was lined with heated tears, "So why do you need me anymore if you know that you're right. Why would you need someone that has absolutely 'no fire'?"

Takuya immediately realized that I had heard in on their conversation from last night.

"You don't need me at all so don't try to stand there and tell me that you do!"

"I DO! We all do!" He yelled back. "No matter how much you change, you will always be a part of the team. I just want to know why you're so different because I just don't understand it!"

I sniffed back the tears and tried to be tough, "You will never understand!"

"That's right I don't! I don't get why you're so scared or why you're keeping things from me when I'm your friend." Takuya took my arms and shook me. "Zoe, tell me what's wrong! Just tell me what's wrong!"

I shoved him back and yelled in the heat of the moment, "YOU'RE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! You won't leave me alone! I don't need you or anyone else. I was doing just fine until you all showed up!"

Takuya stood his ground and glared at me. "Fine." He turned around to leave. "I'm done with you."

Oh no…

What happened…

It wasn't supposed to happen like that.

I watched him walked to the door and wondered how could I possible lose myself in a fit of frustration. It wasn't who I was and I knew that it was just another symptom from what happened that terrible night.

I couldn't let what that monster did to me ruin **every** aspect of my life.

"Takuya, wait."

He stopped a foot from the door. "What? You're not done blaming us for interrupting your perfect life?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Takuya." I answered right away.

Takuya turned around and looked at me skeptically, "What did you say?"

I looked down and bit my lip in embarrassment.

He sighed and came back to me. "Hey… It's okay…" His hand brushed away the hair from the face, "I'm sorry… I just…" He sighed again, "I just miss you, that's all."

I held my arms and avoided his eyes, "I didn't mean it when I said I didn't need you. I-I…just don't know if I can go back there and help. I'm scared that I'll be in the way."

"Zoe…" Takuya said softly and brought my face back to his by my chin. "We believe in you."

He tipped my chin up and gazed into my eyes. "We need you."

XXX


End file.
